Dean Goes Farm-to-Table

THE HOUND CHRONICLES

Episode 15: Dean Goes Farm-to-Table

Well, apparently retirement has finally caught up with Dean.

After years of chasing deer, disappearing into BFE, spending nights on the run, and occasionally requiring assistance from the Puppy Police...

Dean has decided to pursue a quieter life.

Agriculture.

I caught him this evening standing underneath our fig tree, carefully studying the branches.

At first I thought he was watching a squirrel.

Nope.

This man was shopping.

Dean looked up, spotted a fig, stood on his back legs and started helping himself directly from the tree.

Fig after fig.

And apparently the figs weren't enough, because every now and then he'd grab a few leaves too.

No basket.

No permission.

No concern for the farmer.

Just straight farm-to-table dining.

I tried explaining that most dogs wait for their humans to put food in a bowl.

Dean looked at me like:

"Why would I do that when we have a buffet growing in the backyard?"

This is also the same hound who can follow a deer scent five miles into the middle of nowhere...

But cannot find his own house afterward.

Yet somehow...

he can locate a ripe fig six feet above his head with pinpoint accuracy.

Interesting.

Dean's Official Statement:

"Lost? Yes.

Hungry? Never."

Meanwhile...

🐕 Winchester: Watching from a distance, wondering when we became farmers.

🐕 Roscoe: Currently investigating whether squirrels have been stealing from the fig inventory.

🐕 Dean: Founder, CEO and Head of Quality Control for Bad Hound Farms.

Today's harvest:

Figs: Several

Leaves: Apparently delicious

Payment rendered: $0

Charges pending: Produce theft

Remorse: Absolutely none

So if anyone is looking for locally sourced figs this season...

I'm sorry.

Dean got there first.

Stay tuned for the next episode of The Hound Chronicles, when we'll investigate why a retired hunting dog who can't find his way home can apparently identify fruit at peak ripeness. 😂🐾